World’s Greatest Grandpa

Today I, Ethan Stranger, must share with y’all some sad news. My dear Grandpa (Picture, Center) has passed away due to natural causes. While this is normal for older people, and everyone has to go at one point, I was having many difficulties handling his loss for 2 reasons: this was the first time I lost someone that was close to me and had a relationship that I valued a lot and also not being there to say the last goodbye due to the ongoing pandemic.

My Grandpa has been in my life since the moment I was born in Juneau, AK. From what my parents tell me, for my first 18 months, he was always there for me. When my Mom decided to go back to school my grandparents took care of me.

 

Weekends were at my Grandparent’ home for supper, alongside their dog (Nikki), who was jealous of me, but I knew she liked me. Eventually, we had to move to Texas, but there was always the summer break when my parents and I would go to Juneau and spend time with my grandparents (and even the Holidays too). I remember the summers in Juneau were fun, going fishing and hiking were my favorite times with my Grandpa (along with my Dad, for Juneau was his birth home as well). As the years went by, my Grandpa’s knee started bothering him to the point that he began taking pain pills and might’ve even had to go through surgery, but that wasn’t in his mind as he grew older, for he always refused and it got to the point that he could barely walk anymore. My Grandma decided that it would be better if they both moved to a retirement home (which really disappointed me, for I always thought to myself that I could’ve done more for them, back when they still had their house, like help around in whatever way I could).

The last time we visited my Grandpa, he wasn't the same, his pace had slowed down and there was no more hiking or fishing. We found ourselves playing table games and taking him for a drive around the city of Juneau, but there were limitations with his walking.

Had it not been for this pandemic, my parents and I would have visited my Grandparents back in May of 2020, and reunited with my Aunt (My Dad’s Sister) & her family (whom I haven’t seen in a long time). I felt frustrated with this news and I knew that there wasn't anything my parents or I could do, for we had other plans and soon both my parents departed to India. Eventually, the news spread about my Grandpa's passing. I felt sad and angry, for I felt like there should have been something I could’ve done, but now I know that this wasn't the case. 

(Now I know how Spidey felt on the Night his Uncle Ben Died) 

There were a bunch of Great Memories that my Grandpa & I had shared for many years, but I’m just gonna share just several of the best moments, starting all the way back in the early 2000s when my Grandpa took me, my parents & my Grandma out on a boat ride near my hometown of Juneau, where we landed on an island & had ourselves a nice, fun picnic and campfire (Picture, Center)

I remember during my early elementary years, my class was part of this “Flat Stanley Project (based on a Children’s book we read, Picture, Center)”, we would create our own Flat Stanley's & mail them off to Family from around the World (kinda like pen palling), I mailed my off to my Grandparents, who took my Flat Stanley all around Juneau (even to Tongass National Forest, Fun Fact, My Grandpa was a Park Ranger over there…).

Then in 2003, my parents & I went to visit my Grandparents in Juneau. My Grandpa helped me reel in a “King Salmon” (when you’re like 7 years old, that’s considered to be a big “Catch of the Day”).

On Christmas 2005, I was once again visiting my Grandparents for the Holidays, I remember my Grandpa helping me chop down a Little Tree for me to decorate. My Dad and I took him to the Juneau Theater to watch “Peter Jackson’s King Kong” (I’m not sure that my Grandpa was really into it, and I don’t even know if he ever watched the original 1933 Version), but overall, he had a good time. We also attended a Christmas party, hosted by a friend of my Grandparents.

In the Summer of 2007, my Mom (who had just had Hip Replacement Surgery) got into a nasty bike accident, and needed surgery once again, so my Grandpa flew down to help around the house. I didn’t mind his company at all. The only problem was the bonding we had when it came to TV time, around that time I was into Pokemon, but my Grandpa, on the other hand, wasn’t, he was more into the Hanna-Barbera stuff (like Yogi Bear, etc) that was airing on Boomerang. I would change the channel and he & I would watch a bit of Yogi Bear before he fell asleep and I would quietly change the channel back to Pokemon (when you get old, stuff like Pokemon, is somewhat odd for elders, for they see the concept as bizarre and very alien-like, heck, both My Grandma & Grandpa hates SpongeBob (the entire series as a whole) for they found the concept to be too silly, while I enjoyed it, the old episodes at least).

In the summer of 2015, right before I departed for Nepal, My Mom and I (along with a cousin of mine) went to visit my Grandparents, y’all see this picture (Top, Center), was taken on the day that me, my Mom & my cousin were departing from Juneau. This is me attempting to show my Grandpa what a Selfie is (when you get old, words like “Selfie” are somewhat new and unusual for elders. During his time they probably used slang terms like “Jake (which was another word for “Cool”), Jimmying (which was another way to say “Picking a Lock”) and finally “Your Father’s Mustache (which was another word for “derision”). Plus My Grandpa got to the point where he couldn’t keep up with Modern technology (unlike my Grandma), for laughs, whenever I would FaceTime with him and my Grandma, he would either put his thumb on the screen & accidentally hit the hang-up button, which led to my Grandma deciding to limit FaceTime to a minimum for my Grandpa. Despite this, both my Grandpa and Grandma were joyful with the Wii fitness games (sadly Wii isn’t as popular as it once was). 

During the Summer of 2016 I (along with my parents) visited my Grandparents once again, while we enjoyed this Whale Watching Tour (as well as several nature hikes). During this, Steven Speilberg’s The BFG was being released and my Grandpa and I ran into a promotion sign (Promoting the BFG) & I said to my Grandpa, “Hey Grandpa, he looks just like you, Doesn’t he?” and he would say “He sure does, but he’s more handsome, more good-looking” and we had a good laugh out of it, speaking of which, don’t you feel like my Grandpa looks a bit like ‘Actor Dick Van Dyke”, it’s like looking in a magic mirror (one time over the phone, I got my Grandpa to do that Cockney Accent Van Dyke used in Mary Poppins). Despite all the fun that year, I was surprised that it’ll actually be the last time I ever set foot inside my Grandparents home, for very soon after that, they moved into a retirement home, because they were just too old to continue living and keeping up with their big house            (which is understandable).

The Last Time I saw my Grandpa in person was during the Holiday Season of 2018. It would also be the 1st time we’d celebrate it with them in their retirement home (my parents & I stayed in a noisy Best Western, more like “Noisy Western”). Due to my Grandparents' conditions, they were unable to keep up with me & my parents during our walks through parks & Downtown Juneau though there were moments where my Grandpa had the strength to go out, minus a cane, while my Grandma decided to stay behind. 

The two didn't want to go with us to see “Aquaman” (but I don't blame them, Superheroes just are not my Grandparents cup of tea. They prefer to watch “Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy or KLRU’s Nature”. Often (when watching Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune), I would joke with my Dad & Grandma, in convincing them to guest-star on Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune since they knew all the answers to several of the category questions. What my Grandpa was really into was that mixed-match bizarre newspaper puzzle, “Sudoku”, a game which I struggled with (because it wasn’t like a regular crossword puzzle). However, the two of us enjoyed playing “Solitaire” on my Grandparents computer, and we enjoyed observing wildlife up close through my Grandparents kitchen window (back when they still had their house). 

My Grandpa was a hunter in his youth, and he even mailed me the skins of a black bear and a beaver that he killed. I didn’t follow my Grandpa’s hunting ways. My Dad tried back when he was young, but it didn’t stick with him for too long. Hunting just doesn’t run in our family (we aren’t like Elmer Fudd). My Grandpa’s Brother was quite the hunter (but I don’t know too much about him because he died a year after I was born). In fact (due to my Grandpa’s Almizhers) he (at one point) asked, where was his brother.

 

I know that this is very common with people that suffer dementia, but what they don't tell you about is how much it hurts to see a family member forget about his recent past and even other members of the family. He didn’t even remember my Dad or me (during our facetime moments) only saying Hey (which was truly heartbreaking even for my Grandma). I was somewhat both understandable, but mad at times, for I wished my Grandpa would eventually click & have better memories of us. Sadly that never happened, but I found out that at these harsh and difficult moments, the best thing to do is to remember all of the love, the good times, the memories and the laughs because they surely will block out the bad moments and thoughts.

To wrap things up, I just want to say, Thanks for all the good times, Grandpa.  I just wish we would have had more time (even if you had Alzheimer's and didn't remember much). Just remember that I always loved you and... I wish I could’ve done more to help both you and Grandma, especially spending more time together in my hometown of Juneau, Alaska. 

I’m really looking forward to visiting my Grandma (alongside my Aunt & her husband) this coming Summer. I feel like this has been a long time coming and that we, as a family, need some time together. 

There's no way around it, for me, my Grandpa was the greatest Grandpa a grandson could ever ask for (even if we didn’t share the same interests most of the time). He was truly a great guy to be around and we were the best of buddies (like Charlie Brown & Snoopy). While I wish I could spend one more day with my Grandpa, I understand that his time in this world has come to an end and there is nothing I can do about it. I cherish every single moment and second, we had together and I know that, in the future, we’ll all be reunited.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbf9ZYi8eac)

Rest in Peace, Grandpa, you will be missed...but never forgotten, I Love You 

(Signed Your Grandson, Ethan Stranger) :( 

 

Here’s a Tributing Song to My Grandpa: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnAwPeqrdAk)