Growing Pains: College Edition

Today I (Ethan Stranger) have decided to “Bury the Hatchet” (for good, hopefully), as we approaching the dawning of a new year, I must learn better in letting go of all the trouble from my past because it can hold down or affect the way that we face the future. I feel that this is particularly relevant during the time I spent at ACC (otherwise known as Austin Community College).  What I’m to share & tell you all is about the struggles that I was forced to deal with while attending this college without having any functional strategies to deal with them.

I’ll never forget (when I was completing my Elementary years), I thought, I’m finally done with school until I learned that I was moving on to Middle School (and I thought, “this will be easy”). Little did I know, there were many more steps on regular education than I thought there were originally. While 6th grade was the best year, 7th grade was a complete downfall for me, 8th grade was I was able to get back on the rails (some ups & downs), I’ll never forget seeing the High School (fearing about my future & how am I gonna handle whatever awaits me there). While Freshman year was a bust, Sophomore Year was my best year ever while Junior year had its ups & downs & Senior Year (pretty much the same). So it just goes to show you that (no matter what) growing up throughout life is a challenge (from teachers to Homework, to balancing activities, to becoming independent and finding something to do with your life), because all that is a huge step when growing up out there in the crazy game of life. 

Following my High School Graduation, this is the part where many of us journey off to College, but destiny gave me on what I thought was a “shortcut” in life, for due to, my Dad’s new Job, I was able to have the ultimate travel experience that none of my friends & family were never had (relocating to Nepal). I thought that while being over there, I could accomplish something meaningful. However, while I did reach some of my goals, there were some things that I wasn’t able to fully  accomplish -  the biggest one was my first higher level educational attempt.

I started attending this animation academy in Nepal and, while I don’t think the education itself was up to a good standard, I did manage to make a friend over there - and ended partnering up for a personal project of ours (in the hopes of collaborating together on some of my pitch ideas). Unfortunately, this didn't last long and our partnership was broken due to conflicting travel schedules. Looking back, the negative emotional impact that this left me with was strongly influenced by the expectations I had at that moment in time - I would later learn that they were neither attainable or feasible at that moment. This is a tendency that I’m currently fighting against, trying to set reasonable and healthy expectations.

Following my 2-Year Stay in Nepal, I returned to the States, where I was offered a choice: travel with parents again or stay in the States with my cousin & my mom’s parents. I chose to remain in the states, where I was attempting to apply for work (it wasn't easy at first, despite some odd jobs I did back in Nepal). On top of that, my parents decided for me to attend ACC (otherwise known as Austin Community College), for they thought I was ready to attend a college to open up my life opportunities afterwards. I (on the other hand) felt like I’m not really a college-type person, having lived in a poor country for 2 years & finally returning to the states (in a way) made me feel like a “Man out of Time (like Captain America)”, having nearly lost all of the sensibility regarding who I am & struggling in adapting to changes within my neighborhood I grew up in and having a constant fear of not being able to chive my goals in school - it all seemed against me at that time.

Adjusting to life back within the states took a while (especially finding a job) and on top of that, the education part (which I didn’t enjoy much). However, I didn't take into account that the amount of time and effort that I would have to invest was way higher than what I was used to because I had to learn to balance 1st job, my duties around the house (plus having to adjust to the return to the states) and my 1st semester at the ACC. To be honest, it was quite a struggle and I wasn't able to keep up with the college, making my fears come true to the point that I ended up quitting on my own -  though it wasn’t long till my parents found out & thus had to repeat the semester. Remember that this was the old Ethan, the new one would have approached the situation in a different way!

(You can read my Aspergers for Hire post to learn more about the line of work I did)

This all led to my parents putting me into the STEPS program (Main Offices were located in downtown Austin Community College), which was a program that was intended to provide a path for students with mild to moderate disabilities to cultivate skills for a successful future. The problem was I didn’t live within that downtown area so my cousin had to drive me there (which frustrated both him & me). I also attempted to seek aid from the 2 STEPS directors (Picture, Right & Left) on my ACC math homework, however, it was hard because they were busy & attempted me to come early (which I couldn’t) & I couldn’t stay late (couldn’t keep my cousin waiting forever, plus I had allergic appointments & I had to attend to my Crossing guard Job ). I remember a funny anecdote in which both the program director and her assistant used to correct me for saying their names wrong, quite like Tamara & Tamera (Picture, Center Below).

I also remember having enrolled in this “Healthy Relationship Course” organized by the STEPS Program. I remember I didn't really want to attend this course, but it was highly recommended to me. Unfortunately, at that point in time, I wasn't really interested in romantic relationships or sex, so I have to admit that I felt quite uncomfortable with the way that the course was handled and presented. Looking back, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to have additional information on these topics, I think that they were trying to prepare me for the new relationship challenges that will appear in my future.

This is stuff everybody can easily watch from Netflix’s Big Mouth (which is more entertaining… in a way). Although (viewer description is advised) & it's important to remember that real life does tend to be way different than a movie or a series, either way, give it a shot:

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG11kiK8D2M

The Only good thing that came out of all of this was I got a chance to meet CW’s Supergirl actress, Nicole Maines (Pictures, Top Center) (on her discussing about her struggles with being Transgendered), this event was not organized by STEPS (but I did make this suggestion out to them, anything to escape the Healthy Relationship Course & to meet a famous actress). 

 Following the fallout with STEPS & Community College, I was soon reunited with my parents all the way in South America within Lima, Peru (where I was able to work one last time before COVID ruined everything for us). To this very day, I still travel (with my parents) but after everything I through in Community College (despite a few good moments & lots of setbacks), I vowed to never-ever-ever attend college in any form (either virtual or in-person), as I said before, “I’m just not a college person”. Thinking about this I’ve realized that it wasn't all just the Programmes fault, or mine at that, but that I had many factors that were against me at the time and that I wasn't fully aware of (and obviously wasn't able to control), things like having Asperger, ADHD, dysgraphia, etc, they just made learning more difficult for me and I feel hats one of the reasons why I reject academics so much at the moment - Maybe this will change in the future! Who knows!

Don’t feel like I’ve given up on my studies, for when traveling, I usually attend academics (problem is the language barrier that I don't sometimes understand. As you might imagine, I get easily nervous when wanting to ask for help or repeat something. Aside from that, I don’t wanna draw too much attention to myself. 

If there’s one thing I learned from the Star Trek: TNG episode: Journey’s End is to simply follow your own path (and that’s exactly what Wesely Crusher did, feeling pressured at Starfleet academy & having an a Vision Quest with his long-dead father, Wesley learns that he’s destined to go off on a different path & that what he did, while being accompanied by The Traveler). To me (after watching the episode) I could easily relate to Wesely’s situation - however I am aware that I need to be more grounded when setting objectives and expectations - I’m working on it. 

To be honest, there is something that has made me feel uncomfortable during the past years, especially looking back and seeing that I could have addressed certain issues in a different way. I’ve noticed that sometimes, when starting a new opportunity that isn't panning out like I was expecting, I tend to try and hide the situation because I fear that if it gets exposed then it will just escalate and continue to hurt me. However, this doesn't last for long as the truth always comes out and I’m usually left feeling quite angry and guilty for trying to hide it.

I’ll I’m willing to learn (but not from a college at this point in time - I’d like to work on my learning first), I encourage those on the spectrum to look for better opportunities, like an academy or an institute, as I feel that I might be more welcome there. Also, being smaller institutions it might also be easier to adapt to them. Another idea (for those on the spectrum) is to focus more on work, find a job that you feel like best suits you & you’ll find a way to achieve your dreams in a different (perhaps), but not necessarily easy, way.

As a small piece of advice, remember that your voice and opinion counts and that, if you're not happy with something, you need to reach out to those in charge or your loved ones to gain resources to take control of the situation (if you feel that you need additional help). 

Ethan Stranger Signs off.